Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day

So far AIT hasn't changed too much, Matt is supposed to be beginning his classes tomorrow - and I say supposed to because you never know with the Army haha! Today is memorial day, a day to remember those who have fought, and fallen for our freedom. It is also a day to remember, and think of those who are fighting for our freedom now. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride that Matt, my fiance, is one of those men that people were thanking today. He's always been my hero, but now others think of him as a hero too - and I'm just so proud. I can't even put into words how proud I am!! - all I can do is keep saying I'm proud. I feel like that isn't good enough to describe my feelings, but it's so hard to put into words! I think you get the point though, I'M REALLY PROUD! The day went by fast and slow at the same time. Have you ever experienced a day like that? My morning started at around 9 something, sort of. I woke up at 9 something, but for some reason I didn't move an inch from my bed until around 11. I finally got up though, and poured myself a mug of coffee. While sitting at the kitchen table I got a surprise FaceTime call from Matt! I got up and moved to the other room, and then he hung up on me! haha! He got busy as soon as he tried to call me, so I then sat outside and waited for him to call back. Not long after I got another call, and he was sitting outside too! I could hear the birds chirping on his end, and I'm sure he could hear them chirping on my end too. It was really nice, and made my day so much better! We sat and laughed for a long while until Matt had to go. I then spent hours researching UMUC and what exactly I'll need to get done in order to get my BA in English. Now I know all the classes I need to take, well before I really need to worry about it. But, that's how I am. I'm a planner, and I like it that way! Since the army has taken away my planning privileges, I'll just have to plan everything else and be satisfied with that! I just like to be prepared, that's all. I think it's a good thing to do - to keep prepared. It keeps your mind clear and organized, and trust me, while your significant other is in the military, you're going to want to keep your mind organized! Matt got back late tonight and ever since he's been sending me the sweetest and funniest things! It's SO nice to be able to talk to him now. It helps sooo much. My heart would always ache at night while he was in boot camp. I'd miss him so much, but now the ache and the missing him is dampened because I am able to hear his voice, and read his sweet words every day. Matt makes me the happiest girl in the world. He really does. I still can't believe how lucky I am to have him! I wonder if I'll ever get used to that - no probably not. I'll forever be thanking God for the sweetest gift he could have given me, Matt.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

So far so good

So far AIT has been okay for me. I get to talk to Matt every night - even if it's just for a little, and we get to have small conversations throughout the day. He told me tonight that we will only be able to talk on weekends once his classes start. Obviously I'm no good at all when it comes to hiding my emotions because while I thought I looked normal, Matt told me to turn my frown upside down. At least I tried not to look sad.  I wish this weren't the case; I wish his days would continue to end around 5, but now they go till early hours of the morning. It is a good thing that he's in classes though, so he won't be set back even farther while waiting to get placed in a class. I'm thankful that things are moving along. But, as he said - we will only be able to talk on the weekends. Now what scares me about this is that I work weekends, so I won't be able to talk to him as much as I want. I guess I have to go back to giving myself pep talks every night and missing him even more! I know I'll be fine, but I guess I just wasn't expecting this. That's the life though, I just have to suck it up. And I will. It sucks sometimes, yes - but Matt is way worth it. I don't think every fort is like this when it comes to AIT, so maybe others will get lucky when it comes to talking to their loved one. Another thing is that Matt shares a room with two other guys, so when we get the chance to FaceTime they are right there. Now this wouldn't be much of a problem except for the fact that when I see Matt my mind goes blank and all I can think about is how much I love him - so naturally all I want to say is "I love you" over and over and over. Then I think, I probably shouldn't do that because his roommates will think I'm some weirdo and Matt won't want to keep saying it back and forth. So then I end up just looking at him and smiling and thinking in my head how much I love him.. and it just struck me that that might be even weirder than saying it over and over again haha! I have one more week left until summer classes start, and one day left until I have to go back to work. The break was definitely nice! Starting school will be good for me. I'll keep busier, and the days and weeks, and eventually months will go by faster. That's all I really want... is for this next 4 or so months to go by as fast as possible! As I'm typing Matt sent me a message, and in the message were several pictures of me, and he and I with cats on our heads instead of our faces. I just cracked up, they are so hilarious! I always knew I wanted, and even needed to marry someone funny.. and I just feel so lucky to have him. We share the same humor, and he just makes my life fun - even from miles away. I suppose that's when you know you've found the right person - when you've been separated for months, but they can still make you the happiest person in the world. That's what Matt does for me! And I'm not exactly sure what I did to be blessed with him, but I wouldn't trade him for the world! I've known for a while, but so many more things keep proving to me that Matt is 100% perfect for me. Basically what I'm trying to explain is just how happy I am. Life is hard, but life is good.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Well already there have been some changes made due to the military. The other day I got a call from Matt, and he informed me that he was told he will not be home in time for our wedding. As soon as he told me this he had to hang up the phone and go to formation. He told me he loved me several times, and that he'd call right back, so while I waited I cried. A lot. I pretty much calmed myself down by the time Matt called back, and we decided that although this sucks, A WHOLE LOT, we will just have a small wedding with family, and then a larger one later on when we can really plan for it. Now, I'm still not completely sure when the wedding will be because we aren't sure when he will be allowed his leave, but I'm hoping it will be very close to September still. Honestly, a big wedding isn't my concern at all. My concern is being able to marry Matt, and be with him. So, although the news was very sad, I am still very happy that we decided to have a small wedding first just so we will be able to be together as soon as possible. I don't want to be alone, and sad, and missing Matt any longer than I absolutely have to. So this plan is still perfect in my eyes! I got to FaceTime with Matt again last night. I got to watch him do his "bed time" routine, and it made me miss when I'd actually be there and brush my teeth with him. It was nice to be able to kind of be there though! As I mentioned before, thank God for technology! We actually talked really late tonight - until about 12:00 Am I think. It was so nice to be able to have a longer conversation with him. I just can't wait til we can have long night time conversations in person! Sadly, I have no idea when this will be haha. Luckily I can laugh about this. While he was in boot camp I had an exact date and count down til when we would be reunited, but now I have nothing. I'm assuming it will be 4 months - maybe more - I don't really know! I still have my little count down app set for the date I thought we'd be going to get him from Georgia, but so far it looks like that won't be the date. I mean, who knows - things might change! It is the military we're talking about remember. But all together - I have no idea, and I assume that's how it's going to be for the next 4 years he's in! It's all sort of funny because I'm a planner, I always have been - and probably always will be in some way. This whole experience is definitely changing my ways though. Yes, I still try to plan - but so far nothing has really gone according to plan at all. Maybe it's a good thing that I'm learning to get out of those planning ways? Once again, I'm not sure! I'm not sure of much except for the fact that I love Matt more than anything in this world, and I'm going to marry that man! And really, that's all that matters.

Monday, May 20, 2013

AIT has started, and now so has another count down.

Well, I suppose I should summarize my time spent with Matt! I woke up early Wednesday morning and did my best to make my hair look pretty, then got dressed in a pair of army green capris, and a tan tank. I quickly put on some sun screen, and my father and I headed out the door to go see Matt! We got an alright spot in the bleachers, and I saved a spot for Matt's family until they arrived too. The ceremony started at about 9:00 Am. From the woods came big clouds of smoke, and from that smoke came out soldiers running! I don't really know if I can explain just how excited I felt at that moment. A smile stretched wide across my face, and butterflies exploded all throughout my body. I screamed and cheered with many others in the crowd, then we all sat back down and waited until we were allowed on the field to find our loved one. Which was hard by the way, I had no idea where to find Matt because all of the soldiers had moved around the field by the time we got down there. We found him though! I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, and wouldn't let go for anything. I felt as though I would have fallen down if I let go. My legs were shaking with excitement, and I could not get them to stop. Matt even asked me if I was okay haha! He said I sounded like I was hyperventilating and my body was shaking. It's true, I was. We all stood there for a little, and then walked around the tents where all of the vendors were selling things. Matt ended up buying himself an Army sweatshirt, and I think that was all any one bought. I couldn't keep my hands off Matt, and I think he felt the same. Every second of the day my arm was either around his waist, my hand was either tangled in his, or my lips were glued to his. We drove away from the field, and went to a small lake where we all sat and talked more. After that Matt decided he was hungry, and we went to meet his sister Kim at one of the fast food restaurants on base. After everyone who wanted lunch ordered, we all sat on a blanket in the grass and ate and talked some more. Matt's other sister, Rose called and said she was at the hotel, so Kim and Matt's mother went to go pick Rose and her family up. When we were finally ready to move on we went to the PX so Matt could get a bag to keep his uniforms in. Around 4:30 we all went to a sea food buffet dinner held at one of the buildings on base. It was gross, but I think Matt loved just about any food that wasn't served to him in the "chow" room. After that we all went bowling, and that's when I found out I SUCK! But it's okay, it was a lot of fun! Matt had to leave soon after so we all hung outside until it was time. We drove him to the barracks, and said goodbye until his graduation the next day! Once back at the hotel I hung out in Matt's parents room with the family til it got too late for me sit around any longer. The next morning I woke up early once again, and got dressed in a pretty floral dress and white wedges. My dad had to leave back to Maryland, and I headed off to graduation with Matt's sisters. We got a higher up spot on the bleachers this time, but it had a pretty good view. This time the soldiers marched onto the field in their dress blues, and we were able to see Matt with his mom's binoculars. After the ceremony the soldiers were taken back to their barracks on a bus and we were told to pick them up from there. The line to get off the field was un godly, and did not move at all! We decided to take a short cut, and followed some buses to where Matt was waiting. I was determined, and marching down to the barracks with sore feet when Matt's little brother exclaimed "there he is!" I didn't believe him at first, because he usually plays jokes, but I looked over and sure enough there he was! My lips immediately connected to his like a magnet and I did not want to let go! Sadly I had to. We all walked down to the barracks and waited for Matt to be let go so he could come off base with us for the day. I took some pictures of him and his friends, and then we waited in line for a while. It turned out that we were not supposed to be in the line at all, and we ran off as soon as we found that out. We then all went to lunch and had a nice time. Oh! Also, Matt got that promotion we had hoped for! I'm so proud of him :)  After lunch we all went back to the hotel and Matt and I eventually got his new Ipad set up. After that we went to the mall. While there we got our fingers sized, and even picked out some wedding bands we liked! Time went by way too fast, and it was already time for Matt to start getting ready to head back to base. We took him back to the barracks, and walked around for a while until it was absolutely time for him to go. We said our goodbyes, and tears fell down my face as I have him 20 last hugs and kisses before shutting the car door. Luckily, Matt is able to keep his phone and now has a new Ipad, so he will get to talk to me way way more than he could have at boot camp! And thank God for that because instead of a little over 2 months, Matt's AIT lasts for 4 months. Needless to say I'm already ready for it to be over, but I must wait - and I will wait. Getting to see Matt was the happiest I have been in SO long. Not that I haven't been happy, I have been - if you've kept up with this blog so far it is clear that I became ecstatic every single time I heard from Matt. But getting to see his handsome face, and kiss him, and hug him, and tell him how much I love him made me happier than I even knew possible. I was so proud to stand by his side. It's crazy, he's part of the Army now! He's really a soldier, and a good looking soldier might I add :). It's now Monday, and I got to FaceTime with Matt last night. It's not the same as seeing him in person, but getting to see his smile light up when I do something silly is the best feeling in the world! He's in processing all day today - so I'm not sure when I'll hear from him next, but I'm hoping I'll be able to see his face again tonight! Sometimes I think technology is bad, but really - I am so glad it exists. I'd still be relying on snail mail to talk to Matt through AIT if it weren't for technology. I'd survive, yes. But it would be so much harder. Getting to talk to Matt keeps me sane, and I am so so thankful! I lounged on the couch all day long, and fell asleep on and off. The last time I woke up I heard the doorbell ring, so I got up to answer it. At the door was a woman holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. A huge smile appeared on my face as soon as I saw them. I opened the door, and she asked for a Maddison Nelson. That's me!! I signed for the flowers, and took them out of her hand. I then walked into the kitchen and opened the note attached. It read, "Simply because, I love you. Matt." Short and sweet. Happy tears filled my eyes! I was so surprised to get flowers! No one had ever sent me flowers before, and I didn't even ask for them! Obviously I have chosen the right guy to marry, even though I've known that all along. I just feel so blessed to have Matt in my life! I'm so lucky, and so in love!
So there's about 3 months and 3 weeks left now. ... Hopefully the time will go by super fast, but I'm just glad I have Matt to talk to (hopefully every day) this time!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Day 70 of boot camp

This is it! This is the last day of boot camp! I see Matt tomorrow and I am SO excited! I could barely sleep last night. My mind was racing with thoughts of Matt, and I just couldn't close my eyes and calm my thoughts! I eventually fell asleep thought, way too late. I woke up this morning at 7:00 Am and started getting ready to leave for South Carolina. My dad and I left the house around 9:00 Am and after falling asleep twice, and sitting for hours we finally made it to the hotel around 6:00 Pm. We got settled, then headed back out to find a place to eat. On our way we decided to stop by Fort Jackson and make sure we knew where we  were supposed to be tomorrow. After all of that got figured out we stopped at Olive Garden, and ate way too much. While waiting to be seated I got a text message FROM MATT! I actually got to talk to him tonight and it made me soo happy! We talked a little about our wedding, a little about what we should do tomorrow, a little about how much we miss each other, and a little about how much we love each other. It wasn't too much longer when he had to turn his phone back in and say good night. I was sad to stop talking to him so fast, but I will get to spend the whole day with him tomorrow so that makes me feel better! For such a long day, I don't really have much to say. I suppose that's because the bulk of my day was sitting in the car. We're now sitting in the hotel room, waiting for Grimm to come on at 10. After that I'll shower and try my best to sleep before having to wake up even earlier tomorrow. I don't mind waking up early if it means getting to see Matt though, he's worth it :). Okay, I guess I should go and try to relax before tomorrow! It's going to be such an exciting day .. I'm already so excited. I can already tell it will be difficult for me to fall asleep tonight! Oh well!
Tip of the day: Keep a positive attitude and stay looking forward! And try to get some good sleep, you need the energy!
Stay positive :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Day 69 of boot camp

Today has been a long day! I woke up at 7:30 and headed off to school to turn in my education portfolio, and take my last final. After that I tiredly drove home, and stopped on the way to get a coconut coffee. It was awesome. I got home and received a call from Matt's mom telling me all about what he said to her yesterday, and things I'll need to know when arriving at Fort Jackson. After that Morgan and I went to the grocery store to get some things to make a chocolate cake ( she really wanted chocolate ). After that we got home, and she and my mom made the cake. Around 4:00 Lindsey came buy and we went to the salon to get her hair done. Honestly, her hair looked like crap - the hair stylist did a horrible job. We then bought some hair dye and tried to fix what was messed up. It worked, but not completely - so I think Lindsey will have to go to yet another salon to really get it fixed. Poor thing. After she left I showered, and finished packing my bag! We leave tomorrow morning and I could not be more excited!! I actually feel really nervous too! I just want everything to work out perfectly! I can't stop thinking about what it will be like to see Matt again, and to have another first kiss. It gives me crazy butterflies just thinking about it!! Like I said, I'm excited! :) I'm  really tired too. I may not have typed a lot, but it really has been a long day, and I'm ready for bed. I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow, so I need my rest!
Tip of the day: As I've said many times before, keep busy! If you keep busy the day will fly by, and you'll be seeing your loved one before you know it!
Stay positive!! ... one day left! :)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Day 68 of boot camp

Alright, day 68 began early. I woke up, and slugged up the stairs to sit at the kitchen table with my mom for a while. We ate some breakfast, and I gave her the present I bought her for Mother's Day, then she headed out the door. After that I headed back down the stairs and fixed my hair and make up before deciding what to wear to work. After figuring it all out, with hours to spare, I got Matt's mom's present all ready, and then hung out on the couch watching How I Met Your Mother until my mom and sister came home with Chipotle. I stole some of my mom's food ( she offered ) before heading out the door, and to Matt's house. Once I got there I gave her the present from Matt that he asked me to get for her, and the present from me. She loved them! We then sat and talked until I had to leave and be on my way. I got to work a little early, so I had plenty of time to prepare. Work was busy, but slow at the same time. It was very strange, and I was actually bored at some points. I was finally able to leave around 7:00 Pm. I grabbed my phone and car keys and went to clock out. I looked at my phone to see a text message from Matt. I couldn't believe it! My eyes started swelling with tears of joy. I texted back immediately and hurried home so I could answer as soon as possible when he received my text back. I got home  with no text message back, and waited another 30 minutes with no text message back. I asked his mother if she got a call, and she did! I'm so glad he got to call her on Mother's Day, but I'm also sad that I never got to talk to him. I later found out they were originally allowed 2 hours with their phones, but for some reason that got changed to 30 minutes, and I am assuming that is why I never got a text back. I understand, but it still made me sad. I even sat in my bed and cried - which may be dumb, but I couldn't help it. I was just so excited when I saw his name on my phone, and then I never heard a word back. Oh well. At least I'll be seeing him in 2 days. I shouldn't be getting so sad over not talking to him when I will see him in seriously 2 days, but I just miss him so much, and I miss him now. I sucked it up though, and now here I am typing about it. I got in a long much needed shower, and now I'm putting some finishing touches on my teaching portfolio before heading to bed. I have to wake up early tomorrow and get last minute school work done, and then ... I'LL BE HEADING TO SOUTH CAROLINA TO FINALLY SEE MATT. Yes, I'm very excited.
Tip of the day: Don't sweat the little things, or at least try not to. I understand, sometimes you just want a cry ... and when I say sometimes I mean a lot because I know I've cried a lot these past 2 months. It's okay though, you're allowed to cry, but I do think it would be best for you if you did not sweat the little things. Try and keep a positive attitude - it will keep you feeling happy, and keep others around you feeling happy.
Stay positive ... two more days!! That's nothing! :)

Day 67 of boot camp

Once again, I'm late on posting. Saturday I didn't really do all that much. I woke up early to shower, and then hung out around the house until it was time for me to leave for work. I watched a couple movies on TV, and lounged on the couch pretty much all day. Now that I think about it, I was very lazy. I guess we all need those lazy days though. I suppose I'm lucky I'm still able to have those days. Work was surprisingly busy, we were getting tables up until the time I had to leave. This usually doesn't happen, and what makes it even more unusual is that the weather was crappy! Too bad I don't wait tables, because the extra people didn't benefit my pay check any. I got home late, and ate a salad and pita chips with hummus before working out, showering, and heading to bed. That pretty much sums up my whole day. Pretty boring. I can't wait until Matt is home, or I am with Matt (any place is home when we are together) and we can go out and do things on weekends! Like take walks, or hikes, or go see a movie! I miss all of our little dates we used to go on. Luckily I will be seeing him soon! We won't be able to go on little dates, for there won't be enough time, but at least I'll get to see him. I miss him like crazy.
Tip of the day: Try and get out and do something if you have the free time. Don't waste it vegging out on the couch like I did all day. Now that I look back on it, I regret it.
Stay positive, strong, and happy!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Day 66 of boot camp

We're getting so close to the end, and let me tell ya ... I am SO happy! I woke up fairly early this morning, and sat on the deck to drink my coffee and eat some breakfast. After that I showered and went outside to clean my car. I took my little poodle out with me and he ran around the yard as I gathered up way too much trash that should not have been in my car. I got it all out though, and even scrubbed it down, and organized a bit! Now my car is all clean and smelling good for our trip to South Carolina to see Matty!! Gosh I'm so excited! Now I just have to work on the room before he comes back in September.. but I have some time for that big task :). After cleaning my car I came back inside and watched re-runs of The Office before I had to get ready for work. While getting ready I heard the mail truck go by, but there was nothing from Matt when I checked. Now I don't know what to expect since I got a surprise letter yesterday! But I don't care if I don't get any more letters because... only four days left! I headed on my way to work, and had a fine night there. That is except for my horrible headache. One of the girls at work told me she read through my blog and especially liked one of the posts that mentioned them in it. So, here's some more about them. I'm sure I would survive without their support, but I really love those girls and how much they actually do care about what is going on in my life! It's so nice to be able to go to work and know I can talk to them about anything I need to get off my chest. So, thank you ladies for everything! I got to leave a little early, and run to my car in the pouring rain! Lighting lit up the streets on my way home, it almost made it look as if it was day time. I made it home alive, and ran through the pouring rain once again into my house. I made myself some dinner, and took some medicine to get rid of my nasty headache. I changed into comfy clothes - sweats, and Matt's sweatshirt that I took before he left, and finally felt relaxed. As I sit here typing I've noticed my headache is gone - yay! (knock on wood). I'm still so exhausted, and I'm sure I will be during the rest of this hectic weekend at work, and busy last day here on Monday. I just cannot wait for Tuesday when I get to be on my way to South Carolina! I'm just so happy! So truly happy. Just sitting here thinking about my life! I'm so very happy with it and I wouldn't change a thing ... well maybe I'd make it so Matt and I could be together sooner than later, but that's about it :). I'm just so in love and happy and content with how my life is going. The best part is, I know it's just going to get better. I mean, I'm getting married to my dream guy in September!!! And I'll be getting my associates degree soon, and just everything is good!
Tip of the day: Take some time to think about the good things in your life. Don't think of the negatives, just the good things. And maybe go clean your car... It might need a little spring cleaning - mine sure did! I know I always feel better when things are clean!
Stay positive! You're so close, and you have so many reasons to be happy! :)

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Day 65 of boot camp

Today started around 9:00 AM. Actually my alarm went off at 8:00, but I kept hitting snooze. I eventually made myself get up, and I got dressed, made my face up, and headed out the door. I stopped by dunkin donuts for some much needed coffee, then headed on my way to school. I had a hard time finding a parking spot, but I didn't worry too much about the far parking since IT IS MY LAST DAY OF CLASS! I got to my education class, and had to present a teaching demo to the class. I decided to use a poem to teach the class about imagery. It wasn't the best lesson since I had to keep it short, but after class two girls from my class told me they really liked it, and that I'm going to be a cool teacher. It was a nice little confidence booster! After class I ran into an old friend from one of my classes last semester, and although it was a short conversation it was still nice! I hurried down the stairs and to the testing center to take my final for Biology. It was designed to take me 3 hours, but I think it really only took me about half an hour. I don't see how that would last 3 hours at all. After the test I sat outside on a bench. The weather was very nice today! It eventually came time for my History class, where I would take the final for that class. I ran into my professor in the hallway and found out she didn't have the test with her today. Luckily I ran into her and didn't waste anymore time walking all the way to class. We decided I will take the final in the testing center Monday morning. I had to go to school anyways to turn in my teaching portfolio, so I don't mind taking a test too. It gives me more time to prepare anyway! So, I got to come home earlier than usual! I drove past the mail box on my way to the driveway to find nothing, which was strange since it was already past 4! I pulled into the driveway and decided to go and sit on the bench near my front porch and wait for the mail, I even thought I'd take a nap too! - I'm exhausted. As I walked towards the bench I saw a package on the steps. I picked up the package to find all of our mail tied up in a rubber band underneath. I sat down on the step and looked through the mail. I saw a familiar stamp on the corner of one of the envelopes, but I couldn't believe it! There in the middle of all the mail were two letters from Matt! Just last week he told me he would not be able to send out any more letters! - I guess that was not the case after all :).In his letters he listed more things for me to bring him, which I think is funny because now this will be the fourth time I will go into his room to get things! At least he got to send more letters so he could let me know what else he wanted! I even got a picture of him in his uniform in one of the envelopes! I'll attach it below. The letters were so very sweet, just what I needed after the week I had! I just love Matt so much, he's everything I need and more! I feel so blessed to have him in my life! I still can't believe how lucky I am :). Only 5 more days until I get to see him! I packed my bag up last night/early this morning with all of our clothes! I'm so excited to see him, my mind is buzzing with love and thoughts of him! I don't think this buzzing with subside until I finally get to see him either - actually it probably won't ever stop! I don't mind though, I don't mind at all!
Tip of the day: Go take a nap. I have no idea how I stayed awake all day honestly. I need some good sleep before I blow up. Luckily, I have no class tomorrow so I'll be able to get the sleep I need. Sleep is important, don't let that slip too much! It will keep you healthy and happy! I'm sure your loved one wants you to stay nice and healthy, and it's up to you to do that for them!
Stay positive! 5 days left .. and the majority of those days will be the weekend, which always goes by fast :)

Day 64 of boot camp

I'm a day late on this. I've had a lot going on lately! Yesterday I spent the morning at home with my mom, then my friend Lindsey picked me up and we did some shopping then went and watched movies at her dad's house for a little while. It was nice to clear my mind for a little. And seeing my god daughter is always fun. She's growing up so fast I can't believe it sometimes. After that she dropped me back off at home, and I got ready to leave once again to hang at Matt's house for the evening. His grandparents were there and we spent time talking, and eating Chinese take out .. maybe I ate a little too much Chinese take out, but whatever! Then Matt's little brother and I sat in the living room watching TV. It was getting so hard for me to keep my eyes open, I think I even fell asleep for a little bit.. that is until Jesse yelled to wake me up haha. Matt's grandparents left and I got hugs goodbye, which makes me happy :). I grabbed some things Matt asked me to get and bring to South Carolina for him, then I headed home around 9:00 PM and finished up some last minute things before going to shower and sleep. Maybe if I typed this yesterday I would have had more to say haha, but I didn't and so I'm summarizing. I took a long shower, and snuggled up in a sweat shirt and sweatpants before falling asleep. It's okay to have days like I had, where you just don't have the energy to do what you usually do. Yes, I miss some nights a lot, but I usually update it first thing in the morning. It's just been one of those days I guess! - and as I said, that's allowed :).
Tip of the day: Let's see. Take some time to yourself to watch a movie. A funny, happy movie.  Let yourself relax and laugh for at least an hour, I think you owe yourself that!
Stay positive, you're getting so so close to seeing your soldier!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day 63 of boot camp

Well, day 63 began at about 12:00 AM I guess. Some family stuff is going on that I don't feel comfortable writing about, but we're all stressed out to sum it up. I eventually went back to sleep hours later, and woke up around 9:00 AM for class. I stayed for my Education class, but ended up having to go back home to take care of things here for the rest of the day. I got some shopping done - and bought Matt even more for his birthday when I go see him haha. Then I made a healthy Hawaiian pizza for myself for dinner tonight. After dinner I cleaned up a bit, then took my miniature poodle out for a jog in the rain. Now I'm watching Grimm on the couch with my dog, and typing on here. I am in dire need for a vacation, and I am so so extremely glad that I will be traveling to South Carolina to see Matt in a week. I guess it's true when they say - if something is going to go wrong, it will go wrong while your soldier is away. I just can't wait to marry him and travel and live with him - it's not too far away, but I still wish it were sooner :). I'm doing my best to stay positive throughout all the family drama, and missing Matt. Surprisingly I'm much stronger than I ever thought. I have to admit it's getting harder as the time gets closer to seeing Matt .. sounds weird right? You'd think it'd be so much easier knowing I'm about to see him, but it's not. It's not that I'm sad, but I just cannot stay calm!! I'm so excited, and nervous to see him! Kind of weird that I'd be nervous, I've known him for so long.. and I can be my complete self around him, but I'm still so nervous! I want everything to work out perfectly, and I want him to still think I'm perfect, and just ahh! I'm excited. It's just getting so hard to wait any longer!! I'm so close to seeing him, and I just want it to be now :)!!! I love him so much, and I cannot wait to tell him 10000000 times when I see him! I seriously will tell him I love him that many times, Maybe it will be the only thing I say. No, we have wedding details to discuss and I have so much to tell him, but the bulk of my words will be "I LOVE YOU!" that I know for sure. If I didn't make this clear enough earlier ...  I'M REALLY EXCITED!!
Tip of the day: If you're getting as close as I am to seeing your loved one, maybe you'd like to go out and buy them a little something. It'll make it seem so much more real that you will be seeing them soon.
Stay positive! You're getting so close, and you should be so excited!

Monday, May 6, 2013

Day 62 of boot camp

I woke up around 9, and walked up stairs to start my day. I sat on the couch, and opened my lap top to finish up a final paper for my British Literature class. After about an hour of failure to keep my eyes open I decided to take a nap. I was asleep for maybe 30 minutes, then decided I should probably drink some coffee and get to work on my paper. After hours of hard work, I finally perfected it. I then got up to check the mail (even though I know I will not get another letter I'm still going to check ... just in case). Nothing was in there for me, so I walked back inside and worked on some more school work. My family got home around 5, and we ate dinner together before I started back on my school work. Now I'm still working on stuff for school. It's been such a lazy day, but maybe that's just what I needed. I've been so busy lately, even on my days off from school. It was nice to be able to relax all day long. Now I just have to get through the rest of this week of school, and weekend full of work until I leave for South Carolina and will finally be able to see my soon to be hubby! I can't believe how close we are now! It's right around the corner, and I am sooo unbelievably excited! It's practically all I can think about. Even when I'm doing school work, or any other work Matt is constantly on my mind. I wonder if I'm on his much as much as he is on mine... No, there's no possibility of that! I plan to finish up my night by cleaning my messy room, and doing some pilates.
Tip of the day: Try and take a day to yourself. School, work, and missing your loved one can take a toll on your mind, and taking a day to relax can be very beneficial. So, try and find the time and just relax.
Stay positive!! You're getting so close!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Day 61 of boot camp

I woke up on the couch around 8:00AM, hoping for a Sunday morning call from Matt. We were informed the soldiers would be calling, so I was expecting something today! I laid there for a while, still half asleep, then finally got up to pour myself some coffee. I sat back down on the couch, pulled my fuzzy wolf blanket over my lap and turned on the TV. Shortly after, Matt's mom joined me in the family room and we talked and watched TV for a long time. Matt's little brother had a friend over the night before, and he eventually got  up to spend time with his friend before his mother came to pick him up. When she got to the house Matt's brother ended up going with her and her kids to some sort of festival somewhere! So, Matt's mom and I had the house to ourselves while Jesse, and Matt's step dad were out for the day. We continued to relax and watch TV while talking for hours - still waiting for a call from Matthew. I made myself get up and get ready for work around 2, just so I wasn't rushed later. I made some lunch and we sat and talked for longer, until I had to leave for work. I even waited an extra 10 minutes, just in case Matt called. As I was walking out the door their house phone rang. I immediately turned back around and followed his mom back in side with my arms full of bags, and blankets. I was ready to call work and tell them I'd be a little late because Matt called. It wasn't Matt on the phone though, just a family friend. I was disappointed, but glad I wouldn't have to cut our conversation short because of work. So, off I went. I walked in and very nervously walked up to Lindsey and explained to her how scared I was that Matt would call - and I wouldn't be able to answer. I can't even explain how horrible I would feel if Matt tried to call me, and I was unable to pick up the phone.  The last thing I want to do is make him sad!! The girls at work told me that if my phone rang they'd watch over the front so I could talk to Matt ... I love them, they are seriously the best. So the night went on, and I felt much more comfortable. My boss hired some men to play music for Cinco de Mayo today. They weren't bad, but they we'rent playing any Hispanic music either. They were older, around their later 50's probably. They were very nice, and wanted to talk to everyone in the restaurant. They even came up to talk to me, thinking I was Spanish. I informed them I was not at all, but they insisted that I looked the part. I've been told that my whole life, and I guess I might kind of look Latina with my dark skin, eyes, and hair, but I'm not. They even decided to come up with a Spanish name for me, Chichi ... which I was just told is a slang for boobs in Spanish. Great! Just so great and disgusting. I'm hoping the men had no idea, since I was completely unaware too. I'm assuming they are nice old men, and not creeps. Anyways, the night went by fast (not as fast as I wanted, but fast enough). I headed home around 7:30 - still no call from Matt, and thankfully no missed call. I sent his mom a text, asking if she received a call, but she said she had not either. Now I'm a little weirded out as to why he didn't call. The website said they were supposed to call!! I guess you can't always rely on what the Army says all the time though. My night went on, and I headed off to bed. I didn't go to bed though, I sat on my bed and listened to an old voice mail from Matt about 3 times. Then I read through all of his old letters and cried with my face buried in a blanket. Oh well, I miss him so much and I just had to cry a little to let it all out. 10 more days! That's not too bad... I can make it! I guess I'm just getting more and more excited because the time is getting so close, and I just don''t want to have to wait any longer!! - but I do, so I better just suck it up. I'm done crying now, and I'm cuddled up in bed typing this - very ready for sleep.
Tip of the day: If you feel sad, or lonely; one, just cry. - let it all out, you need to do that at least once in a while. Try reading through old notes, or listening to old messages to your loved one. Maybe it will make you feel so much better! I know it made me feel at least a little better!
Stay positive!!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Day 60 of boot camp

Day 60 started around 830 AM. I was supposed to wake up at 8, but my alarm didn't go off for some reason. I got up though, and quickly jumped in the shower. After that I hurried to get dressed so my mother and I could go to David's Bridal to pick up my slip, and Lindsey's bridesmaid dress. When we finally got there they informed us that my sisters dress AND my wedding dress were ready for pick up too! Which was great news considering they first told me it wouldn't be here until July! My mom decided to try on some dresses too, but didn't find anything she liked. We then started on a very confusing drive home. We almost ran out of gas, got lost a couple times, but eventually found our way! Although it was a difficult drive, I have to say it was very funny. When we got home I relaxed for a while until about 3:00 when the mail got here. I sped walked down to the mailbox to find a letter from Matt! I sprinted back to the house, and flew into the house trying to catch my breath. I sat at the kitchen table reading, and smiling from cheek to cheek. Sadly, Matt said this would be his last letter to me, but at least I will see him in about 10 days! That's not so bad at all :). I happily headed off to work afterwards, and had a pretty good night except for the fact my stomach has been killing me. I got to. Matt's around 9:00PM and found out she was watching some friends children! The little boy played with Matt's little brother, and Matt's mother and I had the pleasure of playing barbies with his little sister! I'm not much of a Barbie player, but I did my best. It's now almost 12:00AM, and I should probably get to bed. I know Matt should definitely be calling tomorrow, and I just pray it's before I have to go to work.
Tip of the day: get out for a little. Whether it be with your mom, or someone else, try and get out of the house and have some fun! Maybe it won't be getting lost and confused driving home with your mom like I did, but something fun!
Stay positive! You're getting closer and closer each day to seeing your loved one! Always try and keep that mind set.

Day 59 of boot camp

Yesterday, I got to sleep in for a tiny bit before heading off to my last Biology class! Class seemed to go on forever, but I finally made it home. I talked to my mom for a bit, sat outside by myself enjoying the nice weather, and then came back inside to get ready for work! I slowly, but surely got myself ready, then headed out the door and into my car. I checked the mail to find nothing again, but I didn't let it get me down. Work was a little hectic when I first arrived. My reservation book was no where in sight, and I didn't know how to work the new printer for our specials menu. Everything eventually got done though, and the night went on. We were surprisingly VERY busy for a Friday night. One of my reservations that walked in saw part of my Russian tattoo on my shoulder and insisted on taking a picture of it. Flattering, but strange. You get all kinds in the restaurant business. I left at my normal time, painfully walking through the parking lot on my feet that felt flat as pancakes from standing all night. I came home to find a big house salad waiting for me, and a fresh baked desert (which I don't need - but ate anyways). I stayed up kind of late, watching TV and talking to my mom, but I finally walked down to my room at a halfway decent time. The day went by fast, and I'm definitely not complaining about that. A little over a week until I get to go see Matt!! I'm so so excited, I can barely contain myself at times!
Tip of the day: Go somewhere by yourself and enjoy some alone time to clear your busy mind (because I can almost guarantee it's busy). Get a nice coffee, or a cool drink and just take some time to relax!
Stay positive!!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Day 58 of boot camp

Today is Matt's 21st birthday!!! And I cannot be with him, which makes me very sad. I hope he's gotten my birthday card by now, but who knows. Last week he told me it had been a week since he got any mail from me. I'm sure you all know me pretty well by now, and know that I definitely sent several letters - there's no way I'd let him go letter-less for a week! So, I left the house a little early to pump gas before heading to school. I think I left a little too early though, because I got there about 30 minutes early. So, I sat in my car and took a quick cat nap before walking to class. After class I spoke with my professor about assignments I need to get in for my LAST WEEK next week! Then I go see Matt!! After that I stopped by the mall to buy some presents, then sat outside of Barnes and Noble to be rudely disturbed by a loud girl talking about drugs on her cell phone and blowing cigarette smoke in my face. I decided to walk away and drive back to school. I sat in the parking lot for hours listening to classic rock, and reading up on some history before class. The time passed slowly, but it eventually came time for class. I grabbed a coffee and headed up the stairs. Class went by pretty fast, and then I was on my way home. I stopped by the mailbox, but found nothing from Matt today. I wasn't too disappointed, but I'll keep checking every day! I ate some left overs for dinner, then hopped in the shower for much needed relaxing time. After that my mom and I headed to Walmart, I needed to pick up a prescription, and get some other things, and she needed flowers. We got home around 8:00 PM, and I started on some homework. I finished one of my assignments, but I'll start on another as soon as  I'm done this. I was a little sad today, since it's Matt's birthday he's on my mind extra today! I know I'll see him so soon, but I just don't want to wait any longer! Whenever I start to think about seeing him I get so excited, and my stomach fills with happy, fluttering butterflies! I've only got about a week and 4 days to go. I know it's going to fly by, but for now it still seems too far away! haha. I sound ridiculous, this is nothing  compared to the 70 something days we started with, but I just can't help myself.
Tip of the day: Earlier, when I told my friend Sarah I was feeling sad she told me to "Get out and enjoy the day :)" I couldn't exactly do this because I had class, but it's good advice. When you're having a bad day, especially during the beautiful spring time - get out and enjoy the day! I'm sure the pretty weather will make you feel better and lighten whatever mood you may be in.
Stay positive! :)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Day 57 of boot camp

I spent the bulk of my day at a middle school, observing in a 7th grade class. In the morning I thought, "aw teaching middle school wouldn't be so bad". NO NO NO it's bad. Wait until about 1:00 PM - it's bad. Don't ever think it might be fun to teach middle school unless you'll be there for the morning only. It's sad how much children have changed, it's like they are not even children anymore. It's actually quite disgusting if you ask me. It's sad to see. Oh well, nothing you can really do about it. All of my observations are complete now, thank the Lord! I've decided to stick with my first decision and stay with teaching High School level kids. Old enough to understand more complex ideas, and mature enough for me to joke around with or get mad at without crying (mostly). I got home and changed into comfier clothing before heading to Matt's house. On my way I stopped by the mail box to find a letter from my honey! It was from before he called, and just got to me today. I'm not allowed to send him any more mail, but I sure hope I get some more from him, or I just might go crazy. I think I should come to terms with the fact that I will probably end up going "crazy", because I highly doubt he will have the time to send me any more letters. There's only 2 weeks left, and I know the last week he will be slammed. So, I will continue to hope, but I expect that I will not get any more letters. As Matt said in one of his letters to me, "Expect the worst, but hope for the best". That sounds a little depressing maybe, but whatever haha! So, I got to Matt's house and after talking to his mom for a bit I looked down to find a little baby fox in a cage on the kitchen floor. Needless to say, my heart melted on the spot. I've never been so close to a little baby wild animal before, and I even got to hold him!! We sat outside for a while, playing games and taking in the sun. Then we all came back in to relax on the couch, watching Wednesday night TV shows, and eating dinner. I went home around 10:00 PM, talked to my mom for a little, then went down stairs to go to bed. I'm obviously not asleep yet, not sure when I'll get there ... but it will happen eventually. I'm so ready for this week to be over.
Ti p of the day: Don't teach middle school until you've been completely mentally prepared .. haha no, I'm kidding. Kind of. A serious tip of the day (Although I was serious about the middle school thing), clear your mind of all the over emotional crazy thoughts and let yourself understand that not everything will go your way all the time. I find myself getting upset whenever I don't receive a letter - but that's pretty stupid of me. Matt's working his cute butt off in boot camp, and I'm back home crying because I didn't get  letter for a couple of days? When looking back on that, I realize how dumb that is. I get upset because I miss him SO much, I can't help it at the moment, but when looking back I realize I should just be happy that I have him to miss. Matt is truly amazing, and I'm just so happy I get to spend the rest of my life with him!
Stay positive!! You're getting closer and closer to seeing your loved one!