Day 16 of boot camp

I woke up from a dream about Matt this morning, and found myself squeezing my eyes back shut, trying to fall back asleep. It's been over 2 weeks since I last saw him, let alone had a conversation with him, and I just wanted to see his face and hear his voice once more before having to start my day. About 30 minutes later I  woke up for good, and drug myself out of bed. I headed up the stairs to sit on the couch and write another letter to Matt. While sitting there the movie Escape from New York came on tv. The first time I was ever introduced to this movie was with Matt. I felt the need to watch it, like watching it would make me feel closer to Matt, but at the same time watching it made me want to cry and turn it off. I ended up watching it - kind of. I left at the beginning to mail a letter, and came back to watch the ending. After I mailed the letters I drove slowly back home. I was stopped at a red light, and that got me started thinking. Thinking really sucks sometimes. Thinking makes you realize things, things you maybe didn't want to realize. I realized that I mostly walk through day by day - not exactly apart of reality. I'm here, yes, but I'm not really here. Do you know what I mean? I just don't really think of what my life is most of the time, because then I won't get sad when realizing I still have about 6 months till Matt comes home. Of course while sitting at this red light, I was thrown into reality, forced to do that horrible thing - think - once again. I wonder what my younger self would have thought if I could go back and tell her what her life would be like right now. I think she'd be happy, scared, excited... all of the things that I am right now. This life isn't so bad (so far) haha. But really, it isn't so bad. Yes, I miss Matt, and I feel lonely sometimes, and I feel sad sometimes, but overall I'm mostly happy. Hey, how many people can say they are engaged to be married to the guy they've loved since their freshman year of high school? My guess is not many. And then how many of those girls can say that guy is going to be a kick ass army soldier. Once again, my guess is not many. I like that I can type my way into a better mood. If you ever feel sad - write. Maybe it will help you too.
Tip of the day: don't stop yourself from thinking all the time. I know it's easier to simply not think about the things that make you sad, but sometimes, if you think enough, you'll find that it isn't as bad as you thought.
Stay positive!