I woke up for school a tad later than I hoped to today, got in a shower, and headed on my way. I got to my first class in time, then after that finished up a paper that I missed on Tuesday while I was at MEPS saying bye to Matt. All of my professors have been very understanding of my situation, it's great! My mood has been up and down today, but thankfully mostly up. For some reason I am staying positive today! - not that I'm complaining. While sitting in my History class I caught myself day dreaming of my future with Matt, and that put the first real smile of the day on my face. It felt good, and I felt happy. I quickly wrote in my second letter to Matt of this burst of happiness, and that made me even happier. I have about 2.5 years left of college if I can fit in the summer classes that I want. 2.5 years till I can graduate and go with Matt wherever the military takes him, unless it's a war zone. The thought of that makes me extremely happy, even while I'm missing him terribly. I'm completely head over heels in love with him, and I am so fortunate that he loves me too. I am one lucky lady, and I must never forget that during these next years. I am surprising myself today with my strength, but I think I owe some of that to Matt, since it is mostly the thought of our life together that is giving me this strength. It feels longer than 2 days that he's been gone, but then again the last time I really spent time with him was on Sunday. Yes, I got to see him for a short while on Monday and Tuesday, but it wasn't the same. I didn't get to talk to him whenever I wanted, or tell him I love him with a quick text randomly during the day. I miss being able to do that. I send him several emails a day, that he may never read, but it makes me feel better to be able to write down whatever I'm thinking and send it to him. On top of the emails I am continuing to write daily letters. Both are definitely helping me to handle this better. On my way home from school I stopped by Weis (my old work) to pick up some nails so that I can finally hang a photo collage of Matt and I's trip to Philly. While there I got to see a few familiar faces, and received a warm hug from my old manager - now she's a friend instead of a manger. I needed a hug today, but I'm not the affectionate type. Well I am, but I'm not good at expressing it. It's always easy to express my feelings with Matt though, that's something I love about him. I always feel awkward when saying "I love you" or giving hugs or kisses, but never with Matt! I suppose I will wrap up this post with some advice for the day.
When feeling sad - think of the future and how happy you will be when you see your loved one again! No matter how long you have to go, whether it be months, a year, or more - it is nothing compared to forever! Matt reminded me of this before he left, this time apart is nothing compared to spending forever together. Stay positive :)
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