Day 18 started off fine. I woke up, took a shower till the water ran cold, sat in bed for a while, finally got dressed, went to the bank, and then got a manicure. I think the day turned for the worst after the manicure, when as soon as my nails were done "drying" I smeared my thumb nail. I blew that off, and headed to DD to treat myself to a coffee. I went to go through the drive through and found it to be blocked off with caution tape. I blew that off too. I went home, looking forward to some coffee there. The pot was empty and I didn't want to make a new one. So, I sat on the couch and watched the Kardashians for a long while. I eventually made myself get up and change for work. While getting ready I would periodically peek through the blinds to see if our mail man had come by yet. No sign. After I was ready for the rest off my day I sat in the room that is labeled as the "library" in my house - no books in this room btw. Anyways, I sat in there and wrote another letter to Matt. As I was writing the mail finally arrived. I hurried out to find no letter from Matt, again. I assume I will not receive another until he receives my many... But I will continue to anxiously await the mail man every day, I can guarantee that. I got my things together and slowly made my way out the door, feeling like a zombie with a headache. I tossed my letter into the big blue tin at the post office and drove to work with the plainest expression possible spread across my wide Lithuanian face. Work was hectic as soon as I stepped through the door. It was great! Yes, I'm being sarcastic. The night went on fine. My headache remained in its place - smack dab in the middle of my head. Towards the end of the night I made a mistake, got yelled at for it, then got apologized to. But I was still sad from the getting yelled at part. I wanted nothing more to see Matt directly after work, but I could not. So I got teary-eyed and held back those silly tears for 15 minutes, knowing I could and would break down as soon as I shut and locked my car door. And that is exactly what happened. I drove home crying and missing my fiancé. The tears finally stopped when I arrived at DD once again and finally got my coffee. I drove to Matt's house and ate pizza and watched movies with his family. It was a good end to a bad day. And I thank God that I am so close with them.
Tip for the day: If you feel like crying - cry. But do it when you're by yourself. And you probably shouldn't be driving when you do so. But hey, you can't choose the time and place when the water works start. Don't try and bottle up your feelings, tough people cry too. And believe me, you're plenty tough enough for keeping sane while missing your loved one. I give myself credit for keeping my sanity while Matt's away. That man is my best friend, and the person I will spend the rest of my life with. This is HARD, and I think I'm allowed to cry now and then, and you are too!
Stay positive! You're another day closer!
No comments:
Post a Comment