Monday, March 18, 2013

Day 13 of boot camp

My day began with a meeting at my community college. We discussed what I will need to do in order to graduate and transfer to Towson. Everything is in line, and I'm all set to do the things that need to be done. After that, I mailed some letters to Matt and then went shopping with my two best friends and my god daughter. I found the perfect shoes to go with my dress that I will be wearing to Matt's BCT graduation! How exciting right? I came home and waiting for the mail to arrive. I went out as soon as it got here, and guess what.. I got another letter! I ran back inside like a child chasing after the ice cream truck. My heart was beating so hard I thought it might explode with excitement. I dropped the rest of the mail on the table and ripped open the small white envelope. One letter was inside this time. Matt asked me not to call Fort Jackson anymore.. funny thing about this is that I never called there.. ever.. the thought never crossed my mind to call. I know calling would be completely useless and would most likely end up in him getting in trouble. He then explained he did in fact get in trouble. This makes me so mad! Did the Army tell him I called?! Did they lie to him just to mess with him?! Lucky for me Matt wasn't too mad about me supposedly calling and getting him into trouble. He told me he loves me, even if I'm a little bit crazy. haha. I quickly wrote a letter back explaining that I truly did not call. Hopefully he receives my letter soon. I'm still so confused and angry as to why he was told that I called. I don't know why he would be lied to about that, it makes absolutely no sense to me! But then again, I don't know much about the Army so who knows if they would do such a thing. I spent the rest of my night watching a movie with my best friend while she on and off fell asleep. I left to go home after the movie was over and immediately climbed into bed. A storm of sadness fell over me and I laid into my pillow and cried. I miss Matt so much, especially on crappy rainy days as today was. I just want to be able to talk to him whenever I need him, but I can't, and it absolutely SUCKS. I took that negative energy and began to write. Shortly after I started writing the tears dried up, and I feel at least a little better. I'm trying so hard each day to take my own advice and stay positive, but some days it is just so hard. I think we're all allowed a couple days to be sad though; how will we know we're alive without all of these emotions?
So, tip for the day: If you're feeling sad, be sad! Cry, let it out. But then you must pick yourself back up. Crying and being sad happens to all of us, but it will get you no where. So, as I said, let it out, but then put yourself back on your feet and keep on marching on. The pain and sadness won't last forever unless you don't give yourself a chance to get back up after falling down. Stay positive!

2 comments:

  1. The army says stuff to the guys to freak them out. don't take it personally. my dad told me when he joined they would scream at him and say I hope you know your girlfriendis fucking your best friend. they have to mess with you and try and break you so they know you're prepared for any type of situation you comeapon.it may be a similar situation at his boot camp.

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    1. Wow, thank you so much! I was so suspicious that that was what was going on! Thank you so so so much whoever you are!

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