Random thoughts

You know when you tell someone " I don't want to live without you " ? Well, now that I can say I've kinda lived without Matt the past 3 weeks, I can definitely say I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM. It's not like I've really lived without him, because he is always with me in my heart, whether he knows it or not. It's not like I don't have this beautiful engagement ring on my finger. It's not like he's not always in my thoughts, and prayers, and hopes. It's not like his smell doesn't linger on his shirts and sweatshirts that I've taken captive. It's not like the beautiful pictures of him, and he and I together plastered all over my room don't remind me of our love every day. But in a way, I have been living without him. I've been living without his voice, his touch, his words, his prescience - and let me say, I don't like it! So, I know for a fact that I do not want to live without Matthew Vollmer. I'm not just a girl who says this while still seeing her boyfriend every week. I'm a girl saying this, who hasn't seen her boyfriend in almost a month. So, I think I'm pretty sincere in saying I don't want to live without him. I think people dream of having this sort of love for some one, I know I used to. How lucky am I to be able to say I am head over heels, truly, madly, deeply in love with my dream guy? I don't know the exact answer to this question, but I'd say I'm pretty damn lucky. The time apart is no doubt the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, but when I take a step back and evaluate my situation, It's no big deal. So what if we have to spend months apart when we get to spend forever together. That fact is what is keeping me so strong, and so positive. I get to spend forever with him! - a few months or even a year won't kill me. And like the saying; What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!