Monday, April 8, 2013

Day 34 of boot camp

Today I woke up, hung around outside on my deck and waiting for Lindsey and Aubrey (my best friend and God daughter) to be ready to go to the park. Lindsey got to my house not too long after and we all grabbed some lunch and drove to the park for a picnic. It was so beautiful out today, it would have just been wrong not to spend time outside! After we ate and Aubrey played on the playground for a bit we took a walk around the park to try and burn off some of those calories. We walked and talked, and when we were done we headed to Walmart for a quick shopping trip. After that Aubrey got some messy strawberry ice cream from Jimmy Cone and we hurried back to my house to sit on the deck and eat it. About 30 minutes later Lindsey headed home. We said our goodbyes and I walked back up to the deck. I spent the rest of my night here finishing up some work and enjoying the weather. I had hoped for a letter today, but there was nothing in the box for me. I suppose that is what set off this sad feeling. That, and the fact that I have been longing for a phone call that I will probably not receive. I found out all the other platoons got to call home yesterday. All except Matt's. For some reason they all couldn't call, so they did not let any of them call just to be fair. It makes sense, and it is nice of them to do so - but I'm still upset I haven't been able to talk to him yet. I bet Matt was going to be allowed to call! I don't actually know - I'm just betting that's true. A couple minutes ago I finished up a letter to Matt, then found myself sitting with my head rested on my fist, staring at absolutely nothing with tears sitting in my eyes just waiting to fall. As soon as I realized what I was doing the tears fell. They fell, and more fell, and they didn't stop. I sat on the deck for about 5 minutes just crying. Crying because I feel lonely, because I miss Matt more than anything, crying because I am sad and I just wanted to cry. I picked up my phone and spilled my feelings to my closest Army fiance friend. Sarah has become such a good friend to me over this month, and I really don't know what I'd do without here! She answers all my questions, and knows just what to say when I'm feeling down. It's funny how you can make such good friends with someone who lives so far away, but she knows just what I'm feeling - and I know I can always count on her. I'll spend the rest of my night cleaning out my car before it has to go in the shop tomorrow, and doing whatever else needs to be done before I can go to sleep. I wonder what Matt's doing right now. Maybe he's studying. Maybe he got a letter from me today. Maybe he's writing to me. Maybe I'll get a letter tomorrow - or maybe I won't and I'll get my hopes up to be let down again. I suppose it's better to keep my hopes up than be gloomy all the time. I don't suppose actually, I know that's better.
Tip of the day: LIKE THE ARMY SUPPORT PAGES ON FACEBOOK, OR FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER, OR JOIN THEM ON SOME OTHER SITE. I say this in all caps because IT HELPS! It helps so much! I promise. Do it, please! Talk to the girls or guys who you can relate to! It's for your own good and sanity, trust me! I don't know what I'd be doing without them. I'd be confused and going crazy probably!
Remember, no matter what - Stay positive!  You may feel sad and lonely today, but tomorrow is a new day - and you could feel excellent then! The glass is always half full, never half empty - just in case you didn't know that :)

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