Today has seemed so long too. What happened to my days going by fast?! I guess they seem faster when I'm in a better mood. It's been pretty crappy weather all day, we even had a tornado watch earlier. My 8:00 AM 6 hour long Biology class seemed to drag on forever, and I was in no mood to deal with the immaturity level of everyone in that class. Somehow I made it through alive, and got home around 2:00 PM. I hopefully walked down to the mail box to ... find nothing. Again. I slowly drug my feet back up the hill in my front yard until I got to my garage. I stood there next to my car for a second, leaned against it and cried. I didn't cry as long or as hard as yesterday, but I just couldn't hold back the teachers when I saw I had no letter from Matt yet again. I spend all day thinking, and wondering about Matt - then I get hopeful for some sort of contact from him. It's been over a week now since I last got to read his words, and it has not been a fun week what so ever! Luckily, there is about 3 weeks and a couple days left until his graduation! 3 weeks isn't so bad at all, the weeks seem to go by fast, just not the days. Like I've said before, I will remain hopeful for a letter. I'm already excited to possibly get one tomorrow. I may not though, it's actually most likely a good chance that I will not get a letter. Although I type this, and know it is unlikely - I will still get excited and hopeful like a little girl. I suppose that's a good thing though, I don't want to see the day i lose hope. I got ready for work, and before I left found out that my good friend Sarah had received the wedding present I bought for her and Josh and loved it! I'm not rich, but I did my best to find good presents! I'm so glad she liked them! I got to work a little early, and set up for dinner. The night was slow, and there wasn't much I could do to keep busy. I got to leave a little early at least! I came home to find my grandfather here once again to help my dad with a painting job this weekend. While I was gone my parents had apparently told him about the upcoming wedding this September. I know he worries about me, and he did tell me that, but overall he was supportive and I appreciate that a lot. I know I'm young, but I also know Matt and I will always take care of each other. We will be just fine, I'm sure of it! I love that man more than anything, and there is nothing more in this world that makes me happier than he does! I'm now watching ghost shows with my younger sister, waiting until I get too tired to keep my eyes open any longer. I hope to be able to fall asleep to the sound of the rain wiping against my small bedroom window, and the roof above me - that has to be one of the most relaxing noises in the world, and Lord knows I could use some relaxation.
Tip of the day: Keep yourself busy. Not busy to the point where you're overwhelmed and stressed - but busy enough so that you don't have the time to stand in your garage and cry. I don't even have time for that myself, but somehow it happens. "Shit happens" - I know you've heard that before, and it's true. It happens, and it ends, and you end up fine.
I've got about 25 days left! That's it. Wow.. that's it? That's it!
I know this time will go by fast, and I'm feeling so excited just thinking about it! I love how just the thought of seeing Matt again, can turn a bad day better. I'm so lucky!
Stay positive! And never let yourself lose hope!
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